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Your so Nashville if...
Current mood:  calm
So for those unfortunate souls who don't get to read the Nashville Scene, they put out a "Your so Nashville if" issue every year and I fell the need to pass on a few of the better comments.
It's easier to buy alcohol than antihistamines
The table you are waiting on asks if they can pray for you
Your police chief's motto is "Cracking down on crime one minor traffic violation at a time"
You refer to Brentwood Baptist Church as "Six Flags over Jesus"
You spend more on car flags than you give to charity
You're going to heaven. However, the people who attend the churches across the street may not be so lucky.
You're afraid to go upstairs in 100 Oaks
You drive your Bush-stickered Hummer to shop at Wild Oats
You recoginize everyone at the bar from their myspace.com profile
You claim your Antioch apartment is in Brentwood
You thought everyday was a Southern Baptist Convention
Your 4th of July fireworks display is ranked third in the nation, but your schools are ranked near the bottom
Your chances of winning the lottery are better than your chances of keeping your Tenncare
you bought Dave Ramsey's book with a credit card
You still drive by Opry Mills with your middle finger extended (R.I.P Opryland) | 
excited 
drained 
